Your boss or a client comes up to you and says “You did awesome! We’re thrilled with the outcome. Job well done!”
Would your response be:
(A) “It wasn’t much…anyone could have done it.”
(B) “I was just doing my job…no big deal.”
(C) “It’s not that hard.”
(D) “Thank you very much. I appreciate that. “
If your usual response is A, B or C, then you are a “compliment deflector”.
Why Deflecting Compliments Hurts You
Deflecting compliments has the veneer of amiability but at it’s core, it’s self-sabotage.
I’ve noticed this habit shows up a lot with my newer clients.
If I give them a compliment about an emerging skill, they get so good at deflecting any positive feedback that I’ve started to suspect they’ve stolen Wonder Woman’s deflector bracelets.
But unlike Wonder Woman who was using her bracelets to avoid being defeated, my clients are using their deflection skills to avoid being celebrated.
And the problem is that they aren’t just doing this with me, they are doing this with EVERYONE, including people at work.
Over time, deflecting compliments will subtly smother your confidence, job growth opportunities and connections with others in the same deadly and undetectable way as carbon monoxide poisoning.
In this video, I explain why:
If you are in the habit of deflecting compliments, make the decision to STOP NOW.
When someone compliments you, look them in the eye and say “Thank you. That means so much to me.”
Then go home and write down what they said and how it made you feel in a journal.
Accepting compliments will probably feel awkward at first.
But the act of writing down the compliment and your feelings will create a positive association that will help you accept compliments with more and more ease over time.
As you accept your compliments, you will notice an increase in confidence, growth opportunities at work, and positive connections with your co-workers.
I’d love to support you in your practice of accepting compliments, so tell me how it’s going by leaving a comment below or you can email me and I’ll do a happy dance with you 🙂